Summer....has come and gone and so have I.......

Oh my! Hello friends!

It has been a while since I have had a working computer at my fingertips! I have tried most recently to write from my "amazing" smart phone(which I am finding isn't as smart as I thought) but all my attempts have failed!

However, it has been quite an interesting summer so far! Lots of travel opportunities. I recently have returned from Flagstaff, Arizona. I was graciously given a FREE ride to go see my best friend who lives there! I rode with a co-worker for 12 hrs up and back and in return got the experience of a lifetime for free. God is so good! Only He could have orchestrated it. My friend, Anne, works out on trails and in the forests of Arizona and the chances that she would be off to visit were always slim to none! Well, it just so happened that my co-worker had a horse show to attend the very weekend my bestie was OFF and mind you, it was in Flagstaff of all the places a horse show could be!

I am so thankful to Allison, my teacher friend, for thinking of me! She is an amazing woman and I love working with her. God must have known we would hit it off so well!

While in Arizona, I was able to see the beautiful town of Flagstaff thanks to Annie! She has been there for a little over a year now and knew here way pretty well so I let her be my tour guide. She took me to the cutest downtown area, I ate at an amazing hamburger joint called Diablo Burger, I shopped at some cuuuute stores, and  got to see THE GRAND CANYON!

Can you say GORGEOUS!?! It cannot be given justice by a picture...however I have a few that might help a little!

I experienced some crazy things in Arizona. Everything from the Arizonian equivalent of the Brown Recluse to picnic table that likes to bite and leave its little splintered marks! (Thanks Ryan)

Other than that, I wouldn't trade my experience for the world! I will post some pictures of my trip here in a bit!

At the end of June, I went to a music festival in Meers, Oklahoma called "Sing to the Mountains". It was sponsored by Christian Indians and the artists that shared their God given talents sang songs of worship to our King. The neat thing about this is many tribes of Indians were present, Jews, and every race imaginable were there to come together in Worship and prayer to GOD!

I was super blessed there and the Lord actually anointed me with the notion to "flag" dance. I bought some silk flags to dance with in deeper worship for sweet Jesus. They are a blessing and absolutely nifty! They are light blue with gold angel wings painted on them. The scripture that these "weapons of warfare" have written on them is quoted from Psalm 91, " For He shall give His angels charge over thee." I know with all my heart that when these flags are waved, it is a banner for the troops of the almighty to be sent out and a stand against the enemy.

As for the other days of summer, I have spent my time visiting many friends, loving my family, and getting ready for the new school year to begin. I will have 30 or so new sweet faces to greet in a few weeks and I am so excited.

I know God has new and exciting things to come. I look forward to them whole-heartedly.

So friends, I hope this summer has brought something to be thankful for.

Blessings and Love,
Amber

Life Changing.....God can do this!

Hi Friends~

Sunday was pretty much a great day for some freedom I so badly needed and wanted. It doesn't take much for something to spark an old issue and from that moment, it starts to attack your joy. Like I have said before, I care waaaaaay to much it seems. The matter at hand is, God's got this! He does! Whatever hurts, whatever sorrows, whatever joys, and whatever thing it is that needs overcoming or heck just living through, God's got it!

It's been a little while since my heart has been solely the Lord's. My greatest joy and yet it seems that my greatest struggle has been entrusting my Father, God, with my whole heart. Not only trusting Him with it but trusting that He is who He is and that He does what He says He'll do.

I am getting back to the place where I am not looking to give my heart away to whoever will take it and love it. It's not worth the time but it is worth the wait!

I was at The Garden, a church that my best friend's mom pastors and I was picked out by the Lord once again. I had been dealing with some things in my heart and only God could have known and yet at the moment Momma H (the pastor) began to speak, I knew the word was for me. It literally pertained to everyone but it was directed at me. I love how God does that. How can a person know exactley what you are going through when they have not seen you in about a year? Only God could download such information to an individual.

The word was, there are alot of "homeless" and "hungry" here tonight. Not in the sense of phsyically homeless or without food hungry, but in a way such as this:

Homeless: searching for a place to belong, not yet found where the Lord has called your life and what He has called you to do. Searching for a place to be loved.

Hungry: you know you want more of Christ, more of what He has to offer because you recognize that what He offers is good and you don't know how to expalin what you lack and are hungry for but you know that you need more, sustainable, food....the Truth.

Simply put, I knew I was hungry and my heart felt unloved. I was hungry for more of the Lord and what He wants with my life and I felt unloved by the world's definition of not having someone(of the opposite sex) loving me.

If only I would learn to lean on the promises of God that He said He grants the desires of your heart and that He does work for the good of all who love Him. Well, I LOVE HIM! So what do I worry about? It's the constant nag that I am alone, someone didn't choose me(yet), I wasn't good enough to obviously have a lasting relationship like sooooo many others.

It's all a lie. God delivered me from the pitfall of the enemy, and although it felt and sometimes feels cruel and unloving to have something snatched away, it was for my good.

He does love me and He does know what my heart needs.

I am done looking and searching for an earthly love. I have found the greatest love of all....my savior, my lover, my king Jesus.

A song that propelled my heart to get back to my first love was by the artist, Misty Edwards. It is called Take My Heart. I encourage you to listen to my fellow heart of worship sister. You wil not be disappointed and you just might be changed.

Blessings~
Amber

Lord...help me

Hello friends.

This is not a serious matter yet it is one that will stay with me for a while. I, like many of you I am sure, have what I like to call a "softee heart". If you have always been the type that no matter how much wrong has been done to you, you still couldn't look the person in the eye and chew them out, well you too are a softee! I have had many things happen in my life and each time instead of standing up and getting defensive I have chose to bow-out if you will and not confront or just simply disappear into the moment. WELL, I have been praying about how I may approach a situation in the future if God intends me to face certain people or trials.

TODAY IT HAPPENED....well...not the culprit but someone very close to them.

1) Picture me with my head held high, smile on my face, and they walk on by like the grace of God said, "keep on movin"..............

Now picture this,

2)I see them, I look down, I frantically reach for my phone, and make no eye contact and wait for the gruelling 20 seconds for them to pass elapse.

What happened? Scenario 2! Oh how I wish I had maintained composure and let the glory of God pour through my eyes! The eyes of love that I truely do have for them yet I couldn't do it. I couldn't do anything but hide away in my nervousness.

I pray that God give me another chance to make it right, if it is His will. He is the defender to the weak, the power for the powerless, and the vindicator of the persecuted by His name. God knows the situation I have been in but I want you to know this, in EVERY situation, He has already won the battle. It takes one ounce of defeat for us to willingly take the credit and glory from our Father and hand it freely over to the enemy. The enemy is not good, he is just good a what he does. God is soooooooo much better, He has already won the battle. I will stand firm and daily renew my mind to the truth that He has defended His beloved and had won on our behalf, it is up to us to just STAND.

I'm standing.

Peace to you dear friends~
Amber

It's Official.....SUMMER has arrived!

Hello again!

Wow!~ I can't believe it.......I am now free to roam this beautiful country as I want for the next few months! I have no clue what I will be doing, no clue where I will go, when I will go, and I LOVE it! I have found that you can't go peeking into tomorrow because today isn't guaranteed. I may have said that in my previous blog but, this is becoming a trend. I realize that when you think you have something figured out, when you think you have figured out what God is doing, He blows your mind and turns you upside down again. I do not know what to say other than He is good and He does know what is going on.

Today was a glorious day. It was very hot but the sun dress I was wearing made up for it. Thank the Lord for Old Navy style. :) I'm back home now and went to church with mom, my sister and her boyfriend( I really like him) and shook the hand of a very handsome fellow. I have always thought he looked like a young Elvis but I never had the courage to ever sit by his family. Well today it happened. Mom plopped us down right behind them(unintentionally) and I will never forget the full smile he gave me as we shook hands. I don't think we even muttered words....just smiles from ear to ear.
Some ladies I hang out with always talk about how God reminds us of His love for us in the smallest and largest ways in the daily routine of life. We talk about how when a man looks our way and smiles politely, that this is known as a kiss from heaven. God lets us know that we are worthy to be romanced and looked upon as precious daughters of the King, the ultimate romancer and lover of all. It doesn't have to be just a look, perhaps a kind gesture, a shout of whoa baby, or a sweet line of attraction.....those are kisses from heaven. Take them for what they are, appreciate them, and go on.

I believe I got my kiss from heaven! I don't think I will be able to forget that smile and blue eyes. I can't say anything more will come from this meeting but I know that God knows the desires of my heart and even when I do not know them myself....He knows better. I am excited for what He has in store. It is an adventure and I am ready to live it.

It will be very interesting to see where God leads me. I am sure to you'll find out just as soon as I know.

As for now, I need to go spend some couch time with my momma!~

God Bless You~
Amber

What is this you say? Another chapter perhaps?

Yes, Yes! I believe so. When I started this blog I wrote as if being a page in a story. The story that Christ wrote so long ago before I came into the world. I now write as having one chapter coming to an end and another getting ready to begin. I am excited to say the least. Through this journey of examining myself and my hearts desires, I have found that people's true colors shine forth when you ask the Father to help you discern whether or not it is actually you who is being guarded toward someone when they say they have changed or if it is God who has guarded you from the lie once again. I live to give the benefit of the doubt....and I wanted so badly to give someone very close to me that benefit....but 7 days was all it took for that person's true colors to be revealed. It was not a pretty thing to see. However, in the persecution that came, I have found joy and peace knowing that the Father has once again shown me that what has happened in my life has happened for a reason and that everything is going to be ok. It will be OK! It is finished..... I am happy to finally breathe and move on to the greater things that have yet to come.....it's been promised!

I finish teaching in 5 days. GLORIOUS! I have had a great semester and I look forward to the needed summer break. It is funny, I am learning that I cannot look ahead too much, not even to tomorrow, because it is not promised. I am still trying to grasp that concept but it's coming! I have 5 days until freedom and I just don't know what to do after.

In my About Me, I wrote that I have moved from my home-town of 20 years and have established a career and fellowship elsewhere. There is one thing......my whole family is back home and I miss them. What shall I do? You may say, "go home silly girl!". I have almost 3 months to lounge(while getting paid praise the Lord) and I can really use that time to get things done back home with family. However, God has moved me here for a purpose and I have yet to see it come to pass. I know all He has done is for my good and now it is time to be obedient. He isn't asking for much. Just my dedication and open ear. I await His instruction and I pray that I be so open to heed His will. Sometimes I just wonder if I think to much......I tend to do that.

I hope that life has treated you kindly wherever you are in it. Know that God does not make us reel in a moment for too long. He only gives us what we can handle. There is a season for everything and well, WELCOME new season! I can't wait.

Blessings~

Amber

To Be Tested.........

Revelation City....

Oh how GOOD God is!

He has been so faithful the past few days.

I unraveled a scheme of the enemy...with help from the lord.

I made a life changing decision that has set forth the destiny the Lord has had planned for my life.

I forgave and let go....COMPLETELY!

and finally........

I visited the Garden of Gethsemane...and it was AMAZING!

I am not joking...yes, the same garden Christ was in before He was given over for Crucifixion. He was in the garden laying his will down before the Lord God and asking for another way... don't we all ask for another way sometime in our life?

The beautiful thing is Jesus asked for another way but willingly accepted His Father's will over His own.

It started out a pretty nice day on Sunday. I woke up rested but then the enemy started to steal my joy. I left the house thinking I would be better on my own. I bought some groceries, washed my car( the bird poop was terrible) and then drove. I drove out of Midland. I drove to a small town about 21 miles from Midland called Gardendale. I do not know why I drove there but I did. In my mind I figured I wouldn't know what lay ahead if I didn't so I just drove to see what this town held. Little did I know it would come to mean something prophetic was about to happen. I reached the town and found a small gas station and 4 trailer homes. I saw what I needed and quickly turned around. The road was straight and the sky was a beautiful blue, yet my heart was aching and I seriously wondered what the semi truck coming straight at me would do if I hit it. The thought seemed great at first but then, no matter the pain I was in, my life means so much more to God and I didn't want to disappoint Him. Let me disclaimer this real quick... no, I do not have suicidal thoughts, I just wanted the weight of the enemy off of me so badly that to die and be with God was a better alternative than to live one more moment feeling the way I did. I drove 70 with my windows down, hair blowing all around, tears streaming down my cheeks and "Emmanuel" by Hillsong blaring out of my speakers. It was a good cry and a great experience to feel the presence of God in the wind. I knew He was there....He had to be. I arrived home to drop the groceries off and wash mounds of clothes that I let pile up. My mom had called and come to find out I missed 3 phone calls on my outing. I called her back and she helped through some of the junk I was feeling. (Thanks mom!) I finished with her but still had a pain in my heart. No matter how much I wanted to stay in bed, I knew I had to do things because life cannot stop. I went to and fro getting clothes ready to wash and Uncle Neil came around the corner. I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk but he asked the question, "Are you alright?" and I broke... I couldn't lie. I was literally broken. I felt broken. Come to find out I was being broken. I proceeded to tell him how I didn't do anything wrong. How can I feel so broken for loving so much? All God ever did was ask us to love! I chose to love...and I was rejected, blamed, questioned......hated. I realize my downfall with loving...too much.....God corrected me. I now live my life to love the Lord first and foremost and I try to do nothing to walk outside of His will. Needless to say, I was hurt because I felt that I had done something wrong and that something was LOVING TOO MUCH! I screamed, I yelled, I kicked the dryer, I cried and I cried. And then.......He took me there.....to the garden...... I remember crying out, "Oh God!" I began to speak in the spirit and I saw Jesus on His face. My heart broke for God. It broke because I could not bare to think He gave His only son and at that moment His son was laying down His will with each tear. It was then that I realized it was not Jesus kneeling before the Father but it was me...asking for another way. The Father began to speak to me. He said, "They will hate you because of me...but greater glory will you have." I knew at that very moment that my life would never be the same. I was NOT the same. I felt a huge change in my spirit. A weight had lifted off of my shoulders and no longer was I attached to what was holding me back from seeing clearly. I let go of some things, I forgave, and I said, "Your will be done, Daddy."( I call God, Daddy) I wiped my eyes, hugged uncle Neil, and breathed a refreshing breathe of new life. It wasn't 5 minutes later that all I had been through that day from the car wash to the driving to random towns began to click into place. Are you ready to re-cap the journey God so lovingly had in mind for me that day?

I needed to wash clothes. I left home to get detergent.

He was showing me that there would be a cleansing......

I then decided to wash my car.

More cleansing. Cars mean ministry as well and I was getting a cleansing of my ministry.

I drove to Gardendale, Tx.

I went to the "Garden" I was in search of the garden and my spirit knew it.

The garden where Jesus asked for another way. I was seeking another way to deal with the struggles of the moment.

I had the revelation of the garden in the wash room.

Did you understand? :) I know....it may be a little much BUT it is just like God to do something like this. This is why He asks us to press in to the deeper things of Him. I choose to do this and know without a shadow of a doubt that God is the giver of life and the atoning sacrifice for all sin.

I do not think I will ever forget this.

I hope this encourages you to ask God to give you a life changing experience that alters the way you think about life from the moment you give Him the reigns. He will not disappoint.