To Be Tested.........

Revelation City....

Oh how GOOD God is!

He has been so faithful the past few days.

I unraveled a scheme of the enemy...with help from the lord.

I made a life changing decision that has set forth the destiny the Lord has had planned for my life.

I forgave and let go....COMPLETELY!

and finally........

I visited the Garden of Gethsemane...and it was AMAZING!

I am not joking...yes, the same garden Christ was in before He was given over for Crucifixion. He was in the garden laying his will down before the Lord God and asking for another way... don't we all ask for another way sometime in our life?

The beautiful thing is Jesus asked for another way but willingly accepted His Father's will over His own.

It started out a pretty nice day on Sunday. I woke up rested but then the enemy started to steal my joy. I left the house thinking I would be better on my own. I bought some groceries, washed my car( the bird poop was terrible) and then drove. I drove out of Midland. I drove to a small town about 21 miles from Midland called Gardendale. I do not know why I drove there but I did. In my mind I figured I wouldn't know what lay ahead if I didn't so I just drove to see what this town held. Little did I know it would come to mean something prophetic was about to happen. I reached the town and found a small gas station and 4 trailer homes. I saw what I needed and quickly turned around. The road was straight and the sky was a beautiful blue, yet my heart was aching and I seriously wondered what the semi truck coming straight at me would do if I hit it. The thought seemed great at first but then, no matter the pain I was in, my life means so much more to God and I didn't want to disappoint Him. Let me disclaimer this real quick... no, I do not have suicidal thoughts, I just wanted the weight of the enemy off of me so badly that to die and be with God was a better alternative than to live one more moment feeling the way I did. I drove 70 with my windows down, hair blowing all around, tears streaming down my cheeks and "Emmanuel" by Hillsong blaring out of my speakers. It was a good cry and a great experience to feel the presence of God in the wind. I knew He was there....He had to be. I arrived home to drop the groceries off and wash mounds of clothes that I let pile up. My mom had called and come to find out I missed 3 phone calls on my outing. I called her back and she helped through some of the junk I was feeling. (Thanks mom!) I finished with her but still had a pain in my heart. No matter how much I wanted to stay in bed, I knew I had to do things because life cannot stop. I went to and fro getting clothes ready to wash and Uncle Neil came around the corner. I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk but he asked the question, "Are you alright?" and I broke... I couldn't lie. I was literally broken. I felt broken. Come to find out I was being broken. I proceeded to tell him how I didn't do anything wrong. How can I feel so broken for loving so much? All God ever did was ask us to love! I chose to love...and I was rejected, blamed, questioned......hated. I realize my downfall with loving...too much.....God corrected me. I now live my life to love the Lord first and foremost and I try to do nothing to walk outside of His will. Needless to say, I was hurt because I felt that I had done something wrong and that something was LOVING TOO MUCH! I screamed, I yelled, I kicked the dryer, I cried and I cried. And then.......He took me there.....to the garden...... I remember crying out, "Oh God!" I began to speak in the spirit and I saw Jesus on His face. My heart broke for God. It broke because I could not bare to think He gave His only son and at that moment His son was laying down His will with each tear. It was then that I realized it was not Jesus kneeling before the Father but it was me...asking for another way. The Father began to speak to me. He said, "They will hate you because of me...but greater glory will you have." I knew at that very moment that my life would never be the same. I was NOT the same. I felt a huge change in my spirit. A weight had lifted off of my shoulders and no longer was I attached to what was holding me back from seeing clearly. I let go of some things, I forgave, and I said, "Your will be done, Daddy."( I call God, Daddy) I wiped my eyes, hugged uncle Neil, and breathed a refreshing breathe of new life. It wasn't 5 minutes later that all I had been through that day from the car wash to the driving to random towns began to click into place. Are you ready to re-cap the journey God so lovingly had in mind for me that day?

I needed to wash clothes. I left home to get detergent.

He was showing me that there would be a cleansing......

I then decided to wash my car.

More cleansing. Cars mean ministry as well and I was getting a cleansing of my ministry.

I drove to Gardendale, Tx.

I went to the "Garden" I was in search of the garden and my spirit knew it.

The garden where Jesus asked for another way. I was seeking another way to deal with the struggles of the moment.

I had the revelation of the garden in the wash room.

Did you understand? :) I know....it may be a little much BUT it is just like God to do something like this. This is why He asks us to press in to the deeper things of Him. I choose to do this and know without a shadow of a doubt that God is the giver of life and the atoning sacrifice for all sin.

I do not think I will ever forget this.

I hope this encourages you to ask God to give you a life changing experience that alters the way you think about life from the moment you give Him the reigns. He will not disappoint.

Easter... GOD IS ALIVE!!!

Hello, Hello~

Yes, God is alive! He is... and has always been but it takes a while for my brain sometimes to relate the story of Easter to the God I so dearly love and choose to serve(Yes, God is a choice....He is a gentleman and lets you choose!) Essentially I think of Him as, "Alive" all the time.

What I mean is, Jesus dies at Easter, He gives His life to erase our sin, and yet He lives again on the 3rd day. Isn't it so wonderful to know that someone was thinking of us before we even took a breath?

I am still relishing the thought of that! HE CARES SO MUCH FOR US and yet we choose to blow Him off.....alot of the time.

Guilty...I will be the first to admit I sat him on the back-burner not too long ago actually. Boy did He have a way of showing me who He was! I am glad He loves me so much to take away the things that hinder my walk and set me upon a path that will ultimately be for my greater good...even when I do not see it now. I have even thought about cursing His name...a time or two yet I couldn't! He is GOD, my God, ever so loving and holy. He has not failed me nor will He ever.

Back to Easter.This time is interesting. I took time to think about others instead of just myself. I spent more time with my cousins, I visited my grandparents longer, I chilled with my mom, and I saw my beautiful friends.... all during this time of reverance to God. He supplied me with love and now I must give LOVE. Sometimes giving Love is hard.... you may be rejected, you may be accepted. It's a 50/50 shot. Is it something we are willing to do?

Here is what we should ask ourselves the next time we are faced with a decision...any decision...

Did God think twice? yes, BUT He chose LOVE! HE CHOSE LOVE!

Always choose LOVE. You will not go wrong by doing what the Lord has asked. He has said, "Love God, Love People."

What is love? Is it a feeling? Is it a daisy? Guess what? It is GOD because God IS LOVE!~ If you choose love you ultimately choose God! It is a win/win situation.

He can only bless you for trying in His name.

I hope your Easter was very Blessed and beautiful. I must go now and try to tame my wild thoughts with some sleep.

Enjoy some of my "loves"~

Blessings~

Amber

I am BLESSED!

God is so GOOD! Today was a great day. This week I have been blessed to make some extra money. Little did I know it would contribute to my brakes. My front brakes had been squealing for some time but earlier this week they started to grind. I knew what that meant.....MONEY! I have been only subbing for means of employment since finding a teaching job in mid November is kind of not happening and well, God does provide and boy is He providing! I do not make much but it is enough! I was excited to get to help my aunt here at the old school I used to work at and make some extra cash but like I said, I did not expect to use it all for my brakes. They finally went out on me and I knew it was time to get them fixed! I sucked up all the complaints I had in me and just took the time to thank the lord for the money He did provide for me this week while I helped out at school. All though it was a bummer to make moeny to burn it on brakes, at least I made money to pay for them! I looked into a shop here in town and I was told it would start at $170 for just front brakes if nothing else was wrong. I was not prepared for that, that was my whole paycheck...which I haven't even totally worked for yet! AHHHH! Once again I talked to God and just thanked Him for what He has given me. My mom asked me if I had talked to my uncle Neil today, he has a friend who works on brakes here in town so I called him up to see what he could tell me about good deals and bad deals. He called his friend and to my surprise, he said he would change my brakes for something like $20 bucks if I bought my own brakes and brought my car to him ASAP. I called a local auto-parts store and got the best quality brake you could find. I didn't go cheap because of all the driving I do to and from towns. Tooke my car to the shop, was welcomed by the sweetest owner, walked over to Pizza Hut across the way and was given, yes given a free coke! My car was done about an hour later and as I went to pay he said, "don't worry about it". I said, "no, let me pay you." He took my hand and said, "Your uncle always takes care of me, let me now help you." I wanted to cry. What could have been my money going out the window turned into one of the most eye opening blessings ever. You see people, when we take the time to just acknowledge that God will take care of it even when it doesn't seem too good and trust that whatever we need will be done...well it will be done because God will show you just how big He is! I will not forget this day and what I went through. I am forever blessed and can't wait to see what God will do next when I give Him my cares daily.

Brakes-$50

Dr. Pepper from Pizza Hut-$0

Labor for brakes-$0

Seeing my mouth drop to the floor because I did not pay near enough the asking price-PRICELESS

Trust...

I was talking to my uncle today. It is always a joy to have a conversation with him. If you ever want to be encouraged he's the one who will do just that! I was talking about "trust" and how we have what I call an "active" way of trusting and a "dormant" way of trusting. Here is an example of "active" trust: I went for an interview, I trusted that the Lord would open the doors He wanted to, and show favor. The result: I was hired as a sub, the principal and staff liked me, and I like the school. That was "active" because I saw an instant result. I trusted God to carry me through it and He did all the way through the interview. Here is the "dormant" trust example: I trust that the Lord will guide me through a situation I am currently facing and that He will help me understand what I do not. I am placing my full trust in Him that I alone cannot do it but He can. What I am dealing with has no reward, no result(later on down the road perhaps), no miracle to be performed. This is "dormant" because I am to simply trust without seeing, touching, tasting, hearing, or even knowing the outcome. There is no result, no expected end time, it's just to simply trust.

What the Father has pointed out to me is I need to learn to TRUST Him. With every little thing. I do but I guess there are some areas where I question Him. I know better but it's extremely hard to trust when many, many times trust has been trampled upon. This is not my crutch, it's just an opportunity for growth.

I have learned that His truth is worthy! I trust that His word will never fail me. I trust that He knows my weakness and that He is not going to give up on me. I have a ways to go but I trust that He knows my every need and my very next breath.

Be Blessed~
Amber