Victory...

With God, there is give and take.

I must give.
My self, my life, my regrets, my dreams, my past, my future.

He takes and in return gives me back His perfect plans. The plans I do not see. If I saw them all right now, where would the zest of life be?

People tell the story of the aggitated speck of dirt in the clam shell that with enough time and some pain, in the end a beautiful pearl is created. I remember and tell the story right now to awaken new hope in your life and in my life. Things will not always seem perfect in the beginning, they may darn well hurt for a time, but in the end it will all have been worth it.

Now is the time of reckoning. It is the time to take charge of the pain and give it to God.

I am giving it to Him in exchange for what He has in return...PERFECTION.

Today, I have just won victory for myself through my Lord Jesus Christ. It was not easy but He made the way.

I thank you God, with the sacrifice of my life, with my song of praise, and with all that I am.

Blessings~
Amber

Saying Goodbye to the Past...

I sit here at about 10:50pm on this 29th Wednesday of December and ponder the vast reality that there is a reason things must be let go of. "How do I do this?" I ask God. How? I have no clue sometimes yet deep down I know what I must do. It no longer becomes a matter of literally letting go of something, but it's more of the mind set that must be let go of. I HATE this! You finally think that for one second you have this under control then BAM! It smacks you right in the face and makes you question everything you have "leaps and bounds" grown away from for the past year and a half! How does this happen? Why does this happen? Why is it so hard? Why does it still hurt? Why do I feel broken? Will I ever be whole again? Will I understand? Will I be satisfied?

It terrifies me, I have to be completely honest.

I know that God hears every shudder in my heart. I know He is probably thinking, "Child, why do you do this to yourself?" I can't help but think that I can take all of the troubles in my world upon my shoulders...I realize I can't now.

So when does all of this turn from defeat into victory, sweet victory? That is what I am here to determine.

I asked God for the courage and strength to shut the doors of my past and to keep them shut to allow the new doors He has in wait for me to open up according to His plan.

I must say, it is a  work in progress. I know I have a  ways to go but with the steadfast remembrance of my Father's heart for me, I will not give up.

Today, I allow Holy Spirit and Father to write the newest chapter in my book. I wonder what it will be titled?

Fireworks...

There is one thing I know to be true, we are all made to be lights of Christ and I randomly happened across a Katy Perry song(surprisingly, her parents were preachers so she knows some truth) that is the perfect example of the life I want to lead. I want to be a firework for all to see.

Every year at Christmas time, my two best friends and I go out for dinner, look at lights, and exchange Christmas gifts. It is a special time for us 3 girls to spend some time remembering why we love each other so much....we get to ignite the sparks in our hearts for one another yet again, year after year.

So here's to the fireworks in my life.

I love you.