Life is too short...

Today I heard some news...

You see, my friends, life is too short to worry about the future, to get mad and stay mad, to lose touch, to be depressed, to say" I'll get to it tomorrow!", to not hug every one of your loved ones when you have the chance, to not call up your friends, to not dance in the rain, to not kiss your husband or wife, to not read to your child, to not cook a meal you never have heard of, to not buy something very nice for yourself or someone else, to not wax your eyebrows(thanks Brookie), to never say "Yes" to someone who wants your heart...even if it were for a only a season that God had purposed.

I could go on and on and on but what I am trying to say is LIVE your life while you have it. This is a lesson I NEED to desperately learn myself. This is not to harp on you, this is to encourage you that nothing is so bad or not worth living for. The fact that you have another breath should give you the greatest satisfaction. It takes the greatest strength and perseverance to find that joy sometimes I know, but it is there and it is attainable. God would not have put us on this earth to watch us struggle and fail miserably. We may fail our own selves but you have to try and try again. I have so much love to give and it kills me that I cannot give my love away quick enough. That can be a rather dangerous place to walk in however. What I mean is, when I say I love you, I am going to simply and faithfully LOVE you....as a friend or if you are the lucky guy, my husband.

People, please live and love.

I may know you, if you are reading this, or you may be just a Godly brother or sister to me that I have yet to meet, but I love you...I LOVE YOU!

You are so precious.

My news...

My dear friend, Frederick Michael Cavitt, passed away on Christmas day. He was in a car accident and now he is with the Father.

My heart is unsettled and I am deeply saddend by the loss of my friend. God gave us the grace to share him and have him while we did but now He has brought him back home.

Michael, you are one of the sweetest souls I know. Thank you for what you have done. It was a pleasure knowing you and being a part of your life. I will now keep you tucked in my heart my friend. I love you and will miss you so much.
Amby

It is better...

Tonight was the Amber, Amber, and Anne annual Christmas outing and boy did we have a great time. I know it's been a while since I have expressed my thoughts but I have been surprisingly busy!

I write tonight(or early morning) because I feel the need to express my adoration toward the quote my dear Annie James perfected with me this evening. I am not sure if this is something we heard elsewhere or just made up but whatever the case, it's up for the taking and for the pondering if you so choose to do so.

Are you ready.....

"It is better to be hated for all the right reasons than to be loved for all of the wrong."

Read it as you may but the revelation we both had was indeed to be talked down upon in such a way that "Oh, her, she doesn't put out!" or " Yeah, she wouldn't shoplift with me"
You get the picture...to be hated for the right reasons.

or you can be loved for the wrong like " Oh, I love how he never has to pay a dime for dinner because we just walk out before the check comes." Crazy right?

regardless, LOVE is good, I just know I want to be loved the right way...and that goes for every aspect of love.

Giving Thanks....It's Thanksgiving!!!

Yes it is....yet another year has gone by and WOW it has changed so much. I have noticed one very important thing this year: I love my family! I have always loved them, it's dorky, but I rally appreciated them this year. Much has happened to each one of us along the road but one thing that remains the same is we all LOVE eachother. That has and NEVER will change. I spent my Turkey Day with 17 of the most lovely people I know and dearly missed 4 others as they were away for the holiday in College Station. All through the day I received uplifting texts of Thanks from friends, some far away and some close by. How I wish I could keep the precious moments in my grasp forever but even those must slip away into my memory and become just that...memories. I do not know if I like having memories. Some of them are just to heartbreaking to delve back in to. I know, you are probably saying," well don't go there!" but it's not that easy. I am human. In my time of reflection I am however looking on to what the future holds. The one thing I am sure of is it will contain the goodness of Christ and only that. I once read somewhere that when we go back to our past, Christ is not there in that moment anymore, when we look to the future He cannot be there either. He is a PRESENT God. He only exists in our most present moments and we literally breathe breaths that He graciously sees fit to give us. I will go so far as to say that I know I will TRY,( I said it TRY) to do nothing without my Lord and Savior first being a part of it. I do not know what your situation is, I may not even know you personally but know that there is a God in heaven who knows everyone of us as deep as anyone could ever know. He lives to live through us and be thanked for what He has done. Even when it takes the most out of you to try to think of something to be thankful for, be thankful for life and remember that there is always someone out there that has it WAAAAY worse than you. Many times I have been put in my place for thinking my life was pretty pittiful...well I was just plain pittiful!The song on my page that you here first by Francesca is called "Behind the Scenes", it will give you a glimpse of what all of us have in common. I hope you have all had the most Blessed Thanksgiving.

Blessings,

Amber

I am BLESSED!

God is so GOOD! Today was a great day. This week I have been blessed to make some extra money. Little did I know it would contribute to my brakes. My front brakes had been squealing for some time but earlier this week they started to grind. I knew what that meant.....MONEY! I have been only subbing for means of employment since finding a teaching job in mid November is kind of not happening and well, God does provide and boy is He providing! I do not make much but it is enough! I was excited to get to help my aunt here at the old school I used to work at and make some extra cash but like I said, I did not expect to use it all for my brakes. They finally went out on me and I knew it was time to get them fixed! I sucked up all the complaints I had in me and just took the time to thank the lord for the money He did provide for me this week while I helped out at school. All though it was a bummer to make moeny to burn it on brakes, at least I made money to pay for them! I looked into a shop here in town and I was told it would start at $170 for just front brakes if nothing else was wrong. I was not prepared for that, that was my whole paycheck...which I haven't even totally worked for yet! AHHHH! Once again I talked to God and just thanked Him for what He has given me. My mom asked me if I had talked to my uncle Neil today, he has a friend who works on brakes here in town so I called him up to see what he could tell me about good deals and bad deals. He called his friend and to my surprise, he said he would change my brakes for something like $20 bucks if I bought my own brakes and brought my car to him ASAP. I called a local auto-parts store and got the best quality brake you could find. I didn't go cheap because of all the driving I do to and from towns. Tooke my car to the shop, was welcomed by the sweetest owner, walked over to Pizza Hut across the way and was given, yes given a free coke! My car was done about an hour later and as I went to pay he said, "don't worry about it". I said, "no, let me pay you." He took my hand and said, "Your uncle always takes care of me, let me now help you." I wanted to cry. What could have been my money going out the window turned into one of the most eye opening blessings ever. You see people, when we take the time to just acknowledge that God will take care of it even when it doesn't seem too good and trust that whatever we need will be done...well it will be done because God will show you just how big He is! I will not forget this day and what I went through. I am forever blessed and can't wait to see what God will do next when I give Him my cares daily.

Brakes-$50

Dr. Pepper from Pizza Hut-$0

Labor for brakes-$0

Seeing my mouth drop to the floor because I did not pay near enough the asking price-PRICELESS

CLOSURE

Is there such thing? I really have no idea but I have heard that word alot lately and I am about to make an acronym for it. Let's see if I have the skills to do this!

Can

Love

Oppress

Someone

Unconditionally

Relentlessly

Eternally?

Think about it!

(if you have trouble with some of the words, go to dictionary.com to get a better meaning of this)

One thing to say:

God is LOVE.

He does not oppress.

Sometimes humans drop the ball.

There may never be closure for something that happens in our lives, but with the hope of Jesus, ONLY Jesus, will we ever have peace and go through true repentance and release. Only through HIM can we release all bitterness, all anger, all.

Be Blessed~

Amber

WOW~

Ok so this is going to be a quick one~ I got a call today from the principal of a school where I live to be interviewed TOMORROW! I may be a 2nd grade teacher before we know it! I am so nervous but God is in control and I have full faith in Him to take care of this! If this is not to be the door He has for me to walk through ,well I will keep waiting and trusting! I hope all of you are having the sweetest and most blessed days~ Good Night everyone~ I must get a good night's rest!

Be Blessed~

Amber

Trust...

I was talking to my uncle today. It is always a joy to have a conversation with him. If you ever want to be encouraged he's the one who will do just that! I was talking about "trust" and how we have what I call an "active" way of trusting and a "dormant" way of trusting. Here is an example of "active" trust: I went for an interview, I trusted that the Lord would open the doors He wanted to, and show favor. The result: I was hired as a sub, the principal and staff liked me, and I like the school. That was "active" because I saw an instant result. I trusted God to carry me through it and He did all the way through the interview. Here is the "dormant" trust example: I trust that the Lord will guide me through a situation I am currently facing and that He will help me understand what I do not. I am placing my full trust in Him that I alone cannot do it but He can. What I am dealing with has no reward, no result(later on down the road perhaps), no miracle to be performed. This is "dormant" because I am to simply trust without seeing, touching, tasting, hearing, or even knowing the outcome. There is no result, no expected end time, it's just to simply trust.

What the Father has pointed out to me is I need to learn to TRUST Him. With every little thing. I do but I guess there are some areas where I question Him. I know better but it's extremely hard to trust when many, many times trust has been trampled upon. This is not my crutch, it's just an opportunity for growth.

I have learned that His truth is worthy! I trust that His word will never fail me. I trust that He knows my weakness and that He is not going to give up on me. I have a ways to go but I trust that He knows my every need and my very next breath.

Be Blessed~
Amber

Ahhh Memories...

What is a memory? Is it good things you remember? Is it bad things you remember? Is it both good and bad things? Let's look up the definition: Memory-the act or fact of retaining and recalling impressions, facts, etc.; remembrance; recollection: to draw from memory. I want so badly to give every memory I have to the Lord. To answer my own question, I think memories are not necessarily bad, we choose to remember the good things, the moments that make us smile or laugh, but sometimes those memories involve a certain something or someone that while in that moment made us smile or laugh but now it or they are just a memory and the happiness is soon mowed over by the sadness and bitter end of the memory. I say all this because I am striving to move on to the next chapter in my book and I believe I am making good progress but memories are what they are.....a recollection......a remembrance....of something that was and is no more. It's hard for a human to let go, it's hard to be still and know there is no going back. I do not want to go back, I do however want God to reveal what needs to be revealed. I am just rambling now. I do not expect any of you to understand but I guess what I am trying to say is, I do not like for things to end and that is an area where God needs to deal with me in. I happened to come across some pictures of school friends and other things and the memories came flooding back. To God be the glory. He knows my struggles and believe He knows yours. You are His child and He cares for you.

Be Blessed~
Amber

A new beginning...

I am sure many people have written the same thing on their blog, "This is my first blog...." and well, this is my first blog. I never thought about making one until I deleted my facebook and myspace(I know, I know! Crazy!) I knew it was time to say goodbye to the so called "drama" of the two and embark on a calling so completely blank....or so it seems. The Lord put on my heart to delete the very things that kept me locked into heartache. I'll be real, a break-up is never pretty but the way we handle the pages of our own story is crucial to our overcoming. I get my name, "I'm but a page..." because the Lord gave me a song lyric that simply states the truths about how some of us are willing to sell the book on someone else when we haven't even tended to the pages in our own story. God is so great and has delivered me from a life I tried to hold onto and into a life where new beginnings are possible daily. I am sure my future husband will be quite pleased as well, for my heart is mine again and first and foremost it is the Lord's. I hope that this blog and future one's will send some encouragement your way. To whoever you are, "There is hope for tomorrow and life for today! So take what you are given and give it away. We can't take it with us and can't keep it to ourselves. So LOVE one another and love yourself."

Be Blessed~

Amber