Victory...

With God, there is give and take.

I must give.
My self, my life, my regrets, my dreams, my past, my future.

He takes and in return gives me back His perfect plans. The plans I do not see. If I saw them all right now, where would the zest of life be?

People tell the story of the aggitated speck of dirt in the clam shell that with enough time and some pain, in the end a beautiful pearl is created. I remember and tell the story right now to awaken new hope in your life and in my life. Things will not always seem perfect in the beginning, they may darn well hurt for a time, but in the end it will all have been worth it.

Now is the time of reckoning. It is the time to take charge of the pain and give it to God.

I am giving it to Him in exchange for what He has in return...PERFECTION.

Today, I have just won victory for myself through my Lord Jesus Christ. It was not easy but He made the way.

I thank you God, with the sacrifice of my life, with my song of praise, and with all that I am.

Blessings~
Amber

Saying Goodbye to the Past...

I sit here at about 10:50pm on this 29th Wednesday of December and ponder the vast reality that there is a reason things must be let go of. "How do I do this?" I ask God. How? I have no clue sometimes yet deep down I know what I must do. It no longer becomes a matter of literally letting go of something, but it's more of the mind set that must be let go of. I HATE this! You finally think that for one second you have this under control then BAM! It smacks you right in the face and makes you question everything you have "leaps and bounds" grown away from for the past year and a half! How does this happen? Why does this happen? Why is it so hard? Why does it still hurt? Why do I feel broken? Will I ever be whole again? Will I understand? Will I be satisfied?

It terrifies me, I have to be completely honest.

I know that God hears every shudder in my heart. I know He is probably thinking, "Child, why do you do this to yourself?" I can't help but think that I can take all of the troubles in my world upon my shoulders...I realize I can't now.

So when does all of this turn from defeat into victory, sweet victory? That is what I am here to determine.

I asked God for the courage and strength to shut the doors of my past and to keep them shut to allow the new doors He has in wait for me to open up according to His plan.

I must say, it is a  work in progress. I know I have a  ways to go but with the steadfast remembrance of my Father's heart for me, I will not give up.

Today, I allow Holy Spirit and Father to write the newest chapter in my book. I wonder what it will be titled?

Fireworks...

There is one thing I know to be true, we are all made to be lights of Christ and I randomly happened across a Katy Perry song(surprisingly, her parents were preachers so she knows some truth) that is the perfect example of the life I want to lead. I want to be a firework for all to see.

Every year at Christmas time, my two best friends and I go out for dinner, look at lights, and exchange Christmas gifts. It is a special time for us 3 girls to spend some time remembering why we love each other so much....we get to ignite the sparks in our hearts for one another yet again, year after year.

So here's to the fireworks in my life.

I love you.

The 5 o'clock laptop.....

So, it is the day after Thanksgiving and my sweet little sister had the bright idea to go BLACK FRIDAY shopping! She is crazy! However, I did reap the benefits! On her way to Wal-Mart at midnight, she asked me if I wanted  a laptop. I pondered the thought and didn't honestly think she would beat the crowd of electronic hungry die-hards. Well, I was wrong and now I am the proud owner of a pretty sweet HP! I am not complaining! I have needed a computer of my own for quite some time but never broke and got one! Brooke did it for me. She waited until 5am to get our sweet little gifts and for that I owe her!

So here is a thanks to my little sister:

To Brooke, my sweet little dear.
How I am glad it was you that awoke this morning with cheer.
As I slept away, with warmth from a cover,
It was you standing on isle 9, with people all over.
I was dreaming about the things I possibly would like,
And it was poor you, who didn't get your griddle.....right?
Oh, maybe it was your waffle maker, that blasted 3 dollar steal,
If you'd only wait for Christmas, maybe you'd get one, for real!

So this is for you Brooke, the determined girl I know!
Thanks for my laptop, I owe you fo' sho!

Still More...

I feel like there are a million things to tell you but I keep forgetting! Just like me....to forget. It's funny that I talk about forgetting. I was just telling a friend the other day, " You know, I must be forgettable!" At work I get papers all the time that say, "Amanda".....for goodness sake, I AM AMBER! Something else happened and I can't put my finger on it right now but yet again the nagging sound of "Forgettable Amber" popped inside my head.

I rest in knowing that one day, yes one day, I will be unforgettable.
I know at least my Father in heaven knows exactly who I am and that's all that matters.

Anyways, it is officially HALLOWEEN and my family and I are sitting around watching Sherlock Holmes at 12:33am! We are suckers for LAAAAAATE night flicks!

I love it! The great thing is we sleep in every chance we get and no one is ever disturbed until 11:30 or later in the morning! Thank you Lord for sleep! :P

On that note, I will share a couple of pictures with you from Friday. My co-teacher and I were "Best Friends" at our Halloween party. The kids loved it and constantly asked us to connect to each other!

Allison and I

Our Kiddos

We had such blast! The kids had hot-dogs wrapped like mummies, yummy cake balls and monster apples! These moms were the greatest! They set up the party, provided the decor and foods, and cleaned up!

Hooray for being a teacher!

Blessings~
Amber

So....... I am still Miss. Palacios :)

Yes, I am!  I realize that it was just a dream to think I may actually be proposed to Thursday night from someone I barely knew! It's ok though, I am glad to know I am just not made for a "rock-star"! I learned alot about the artists I saw. God did so much in just those few hours to show me that His life and gifts are worth more than a concert everyday of the week. Not the life for me. There has to be more to true worship than a gig every other night.

God is not just a gig!

Anyways, overall the experience was one that I am glad to have had and I dearly love the music from these guys but I still want to know the heart of the matter, in their music and in their life.

I bet you are wondering, "Didn't she get to ask them?"
That's another story!

The woman at the front desk told me to arrive at the venue at the wrong time so I missed it!

Shucks for me but I have found that I probably wouldn't be any more accomplished had I got to ask.

As for you, here are a few good pics of Jars of Clay and Brandon Heath.ENJOY!!!!!

This very sweet lady took this picture for me while Brandon signed my stuff! I didn't even know she did this!

Welcome song

Both bands came out and sang the first song together!

I think I took this one while he sang "Love Never Fails"

PERFECT!

Right in front of me!

Bye Brandon

Hello Jars of Clay!

Jars

Brandon

What can I say, He is so cute!

Rockin Out!

Goodbye

Ashley, Shawn, and Me

Jars of Clay, Brandon Heath, and ME!!!!

Ash and the guys!

AHHHH !! It's been FAR too long!

Hi my friends!

Well, I write to say that it is almost the END of October and lots of new things have happened!

1) I have finally settled into a new school year! My class of 4yr olds are great and are learning so much already.

2) I sing on the worship team at my church, I never would have thought I would be helping out with lead and harmony vocals.

3) I have purchased a gorgeous white coat that I have had my eye on for quite some time.

4) I am writing new music.

5) I have not traveled back home since September 4. (That's a VERY LONG time for me!)

6) I have sold 3 items on my ETSY website......go check it out! www.amber33.etsy.com

7) I had a revelation of God's love in a different way that I am OK with where He has me and what He is doing in my life at the present moment and in the future.

8) I have a newly engaged little sister. Albert, you are a lucky man!

9) I went to a William's Ranch Party in Alpine, Tx! It was pretty nice considering the man owns pretty much every mountain there!

10) I am the owner of the 3rd Artist Circle ticket to see BRANDON HEATH and Jars of Clay this Thursday.

I cannot tell you how excited I am to know that if all goes as I think it will, I get 30 minutes of talk time with both bands, front row seats, and autographs!

I don't even care about the autographs, I just want to ask these men where their heart for Christ lies? I want to know the inspiration of their music. I want to know if God wakes them from their sleep and sings to them a new melody to bless the world with. I want to know what it is that God has charged them with and how they make it through everyday on the road.

I have so many things turning in my head it is crazy!

I like both artists but I really enjoy Brandon's stuff. His lyrics relate to me more I guess. He seems like a pretty cool guy and I hope to hear some amazing things from both of the bands.

I guess I will see in a few days!

So, to God I owe my greatest gratitude to bless me with this highly anticipated honor! For Him I will shine and let the world see.

$45 for Artist Circle Ticket =
30 minutes of QandA
Signed Poster
Front Row Seating

Possible shot at being the future Mrs. Brandon Heath...... PRICELESS!

Pictures later my friends!

Blessings to you!
Amber

Handmade....is so AMAZING!

I saw this blog on ETSY, home of my little shop, and thought I would share it with you.

Look at this amazing idea for a handmade wedding!

I am inspired to do something like this for my own, not in all the details but the most handmade I can possibly do on my own!

Enjoy!

http://www.etsy.com/storque/handmade-life/handmade-weddings-with-a-little-help-from-their-friends-10458/

my ETSY.......go check it out!

Hello!

I have been crafting away and now have some stuff on my ETSY website. Go check it out and see what God has blessed me with!

www.etsy.com/shop/Amber33

God is MIGHTY!!!

Today as I was pondering the thought of getting out of my bed or just laying there with the blankets over my head I ultimately stayed right where I was and began to talk to God. I came before Him as the unworthy servant that I am and began to acknowledge that He is not just a man to have a conversation with...He is God! Why is it that we salute an officer in the Navy, Army, Marines? Yet, when we come before the Lord, on His judgement throne, we so freely speak about what we need, what we want, why this? why that? Isn't He worthy to be praised, honored, revered? This isn't a preaching to the choir motive, it's just what I needed to get through my own skull. I began to speak about how worthy He was and how mighty He is and right then and there, the Lord stopped me and spoke, " Do you know how mighty I am?" I paused, "Yes...well...uh..... He said, " Look out your window." I asked, " What?" This is extremely like me because any time the Lord ever speaks to me, I always ask Him, "WHAT?" and He sweetly says, "Must you always ask questions? Just do as I say my dove." So I got off my bed, walked to the window and peeked out. It was a rather still day and I immediately noticed the neighbor's tree swaying. No other tree around us was moving but their's. As I watched, the breeze slowly crept up and blew over our trees. It was AMAZING. The Lord said, " This is my breath." It was then that I knew of His might, that in one breath of God, He could sway millions of trees and the trees He chose to sway today were mine.

It's one of those, "you had to be there" kind of things but know that He wants to show you His might in such a way that will embed itself forever in your heart.

Blessings my friends~
Amber

It's my party......and I'll smile if I want to :)

Ahhhh yes, my birthday was was just a few days ago. I always have a great time celebrating with my closest friends and family. I love how no matter age you are there is still room to have a party....however, without all the bells and confetti, it is more of "get togethers" if you will. I don't ask for much, just the love of God and the closeness of people I care for. As a tradition in my family, all of the August birthdays are celebrated usually outdoors on the lake. It leaves many options available for boating, tennis, sand volleyball, and swimming. Everyone has something to do. As a memento, I decided to pull my girls out on the docks to snap some shots...here they are.
Kinsley, Kailey, Me, Kayla, and Anne
August 4, 2010

Road Trip

July 29, 2010

Road Trip with my besties! We have been friends since high school. Miraculous and divine appointed I would say. God knew these girls were to be my friends through thick and thin. We decided to go on road trips a loooong time ago together and we did, but we kind of lost the idea as life seperated all three of us. Amber(the gorgeous red head) is still in my hometown of San Angelo, Anne (with her beautiful curly locks) lives in Arizona and is now on the verge of moving to California perhaps, and I am in Midland but in essence, we are still apart. It is so amazing that through all of this, we have managed to keep in touch, see eachother on a regular basis, and still, still be closer than ever. We decided to go tubing on the Guadalupe River....amazing fun! I had never been. After the 4 1/2 hr tube ride and craziest Zorro stripe sunburning of the century, we went into Gruene, Tx to eat at The Gristmill. I had a Filet Mignon to die for all the while sitting on the edge of a cliff to admire the river down below. Very scenic little town with cute shops! Our hotel was very nice and it was located perfectly for every town around us! We were 13 miles from San Marcos ( shop til you drop...and we did), 45 miles from Austin, and 30 miles from San Antonio! PERFECT little trip it was. All of us had much to talk about, life lessons to grasp, memories to cherish, and love to share. I would not be the same without these girls but above all else, God knew that.

Spend time with those you love, you never know when that time will come to an end. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Blessings~
Amber

Collage ofMy Trip Arizona 7/10

It was BEAUTIFUL! Here are some of the things I got to see...

Sitting on the Edge of His Wonder

Anne and I

Grand Canyon and Arizona.....

Here is the Grand Canyon!

Summer....has come and gone and so have I.......

Oh my! Hello friends!

It has been a while since I have had a working computer at my fingertips! I have tried most recently to write from my "amazing" smart phone(which I am finding isn't as smart as I thought) but all my attempts have failed!

However, it has been quite an interesting summer so far! Lots of travel opportunities. I recently have returned from Flagstaff, Arizona. I was graciously given a FREE ride to go see my best friend who lives there! I rode with a co-worker for 12 hrs up and back and in return got the experience of a lifetime for free. God is so good! Only He could have orchestrated it. My friend, Anne, works out on trails and in the forests of Arizona and the chances that she would be off to visit were always slim to none! Well, it just so happened that my co-worker had a horse show to attend the very weekend my bestie was OFF and mind you, it was in Flagstaff of all the places a horse show could be!

I am so thankful to Allison, my teacher friend, for thinking of me! She is an amazing woman and I love working with her. God must have known we would hit it off so well!

While in Arizona, I was able to see the beautiful town of Flagstaff thanks to Annie! She has been there for a little over a year now and knew here way pretty well so I let her be my tour guide. She took me to the cutest downtown area, I ate at an amazing hamburger joint called Diablo Burger, I shopped at some cuuuute stores, and  got to see THE GRAND CANYON!

Can you say GORGEOUS!?! It cannot be given justice by a picture...however I have a few that might help a little!

I experienced some crazy things in Arizona. Everything from the Arizonian equivalent of the Brown Recluse to picnic table that likes to bite and leave its little splintered marks! (Thanks Ryan)

Other than that, I wouldn't trade my experience for the world! I will post some pictures of my trip here in a bit!

At the end of June, I went to a music festival in Meers, Oklahoma called "Sing to the Mountains". It was sponsored by Christian Indians and the artists that shared their God given talents sang songs of worship to our King. The neat thing about this is many tribes of Indians were present, Jews, and every race imaginable were there to come together in Worship and prayer to GOD!

I was super blessed there and the Lord actually anointed me with the notion to "flag" dance. I bought some silk flags to dance with in deeper worship for sweet Jesus. They are a blessing and absolutely nifty! They are light blue with gold angel wings painted on them. The scripture that these "weapons of warfare" have written on them is quoted from Psalm 91, " For He shall give His angels charge over thee." I know with all my heart that when these flags are waved, it is a banner for the troops of the almighty to be sent out and a stand against the enemy.

As for the other days of summer, I have spent my time visiting many friends, loving my family, and getting ready for the new school year to begin. I will have 30 or so new sweet faces to greet in a few weeks and I am so excited.

I know God has new and exciting things to come. I look forward to them whole-heartedly.

So friends, I hope this summer has brought something to be thankful for.

Blessings and Love,
Amber

Life Changing.....God can do this!

Hi Friends~

Sunday was pretty much a great day for some freedom I so badly needed and wanted. It doesn't take much for something to spark an old issue and from that moment, it starts to attack your joy. Like I have said before, I care waaaaaay to much it seems. The matter at hand is, God's got this! He does! Whatever hurts, whatever sorrows, whatever joys, and whatever thing it is that needs overcoming or heck just living through, God's got it!

It's been a little while since my heart has been solely the Lord's. My greatest joy and yet it seems that my greatest struggle has been entrusting my Father, God, with my whole heart. Not only trusting Him with it but trusting that He is who He is and that He does what He says He'll do.

I am getting back to the place where I am not looking to give my heart away to whoever will take it and love it. It's not worth the time but it is worth the wait!

I was at The Garden, a church that my best friend's mom pastors and I was picked out by the Lord once again. I had been dealing with some things in my heart and only God could have known and yet at the moment Momma H (the pastor) began to speak, I knew the word was for me. It literally pertained to everyone but it was directed at me. I love how God does that. How can a person know exactley what you are going through when they have not seen you in about a year? Only God could download such information to an individual.

The word was, there are alot of "homeless" and "hungry" here tonight. Not in the sense of phsyically homeless or without food hungry, but in a way such as this:

Homeless: searching for a place to belong, not yet found where the Lord has called your life and what He has called you to do. Searching for a place to be loved.

Hungry: you know you want more of Christ, more of what He has to offer because you recognize that what He offers is good and you don't know how to expalin what you lack and are hungry for but you know that you need more, sustainable, food....the Truth.

Simply put, I knew I was hungry and my heart felt unloved. I was hungry for more of the Lord and what He wants with my life and I felt unloved by the world's definition of not having someone(of the opposite sex) loving me.

If only I would learn to lean on the promises of God that He said He grants the desires of your heart and that He does work for the good of all who love Him. Well, I LOVE HIM! So what do I worry about? It's the constant nag that I am alone, someone didn't choose me(yet), I wasn't good enough to obviously have a lasting relationship like sooooo many others.

It's all a lie. God delivered me from the pitfall of the enemy, and although it felt and sometimes feels cruel and unloving to have something snatched away, it was for my good.

He does love me and He does know what my heart needs.

I am done looking and searching for an earthly love. I have found the greatest love of all....my savior, my lover, my king Jesus.

A song that propelled my heart to get back to my first love was by the artist, Misty Edwards. It is called Take My Heart. I encourage you to listen to my fellow heart of worship sister. You wil not be disappointed and you just might be changed.

Blessings~
Amber

Lord...help me

Hello friends.

This is not a serious matter yet it is one that will stay with me for a while. I, like many of you I am sure, have what I like to call a "softee heart". If you have always been the type that no matter how much wrong has been done to you, you still couldn't look the person in the eye and chew them out, well you too are a softee! I have had many things happen in my life and each time instead of standing up and getting defensive I have chose to bow-out if you will and not confront or just simply disappear into the moment. WELL, I have been praying about how I may approach a situation in the future if God intends me to face certain people or trials.

TODAY IT HAPPENED....well...not the culprit but someone very close to them.

1) Picture me with my head held high, smile on my face, and they walk on by like the grace of God said, "keep on movin"..............

Now picture this,

2)I see them, I look down, I frantically reach for my phone, and make no eye contact and wait for the gruelling 20 seconds for them to pass elapse.

What happened? Scenario 2! Oh how I wish I had maintained composure and let the glory of God pour through my eyes! The eyes of love that I truely do have for them yet I couldn't do it. I couldn't do anything but hide away in my nervousness.

I pray that God give me another chance to make it right, if it is His will. He is the defender to the weak, the power for the powerless, and the vindicator of the persecuted by His name. God knows the situation I have been in but I want you to know this, in EVERY situation, He has already won the battle. It takes one ounce of defeat for us to willingly take the credit and glory from our Father and hand it freely over to the enemy. The enemy is not good, he is just good a what he does. God is soooooooo much better, He has already won the battle. I will stand firm and daily renew my mind to the truth that He has defended His beloved and had won on our behalf, it is up to us to just STAND.

I'm standing.

Peace to you dear friends~
Amber

It's Official.....SUMMER has arrived!

Hello again!

Wow!~ I can't believe it.......I am now free to roam this beautiful country as I want for the next few months! I have no clue what I will be doing, no clue where I will go, when I will go, and I LOVE it! I have found that you can't go peeking into tomorrow because today isn't guaranteed. I may have said that in my previous blog but, this is becoming a trend. I realize that when you think you have something figured out, when you think you have figured out what God is doing, He blows your mind and turns you upside down again. I do not know what to say other than He is good and He does know what is going on.

Today was a glorious day. It was very hot but the sun dress I was wearing made up for it. Thank the Lord for Old Navy style. :) I'm back home now and went to church with mom, my sister and her boyfriend( I really like him) and shook the hand of a very handsome fellow. I have always thought he looked like a young Elvis but I never had the courage to ever sit by his family. Well today it happened. Mom plopped us down right behind them(unintentionally) and I will never forget the full smile he gave me as we shook hands. I don't think we even muttered words....just smiles from ear to ear.
Some ladies I hang out with always talk about how God reminds us of His love for us in the smallest and largest ways in the daily routine of life. We talk about how when a man looks our way and smiles politely, that this is known as a kiss from heaven. God lets us know that we are worthy to be romanced and looked upon as precious daughters of the King, the ultimate romancer and lover of all. It doesn't have to be just a look, perhaps a kind gesture, a shout of whoa baby, or a sweet line of attraction.....those are kisses from heaven. Take them for what they are, appreciate them, and go on.

I believe I got my kiss from heaven! I don't think I will be able to forget that smile and blue eyes. I can't say anything more will come from this meeting but I know that God knows the desires of my heart and even when I do not know them myself....He knows better. I am excited for what He has in store. It is an adventure and I am ready to live it.

It will be very interesting to see where God leads me. I am sure to you'll find out just as soon as I know.

As for now, I need to go spend some couch time with my momma!~

God Bless You~
Amber

What is this you say? Another chapter perhaps?

Yes, Yes! I believe so. When I started this blog I wrote as if being a page in a story. The story that Christ wrote so long ago before I came into the world. I now write as having one chapter coming to an end and another getting ready to begin. I am excited to say the least. Through this journey of examining myself and my hearts desires, I have found that people's true colors shine forth when you ask the Father to help you discern whether or not it is actually you who is being guarded toward someone when they say they have changed or if it is God who has guarded you from the lie once again. I live to give the benefit of the doubt....and I wanted so badly to give someone very close to me that benefit....but 7 days was all it took for that person's true colors to be revealed. It was not a pretty thing to see. However, in the persecution that came, I have found joy and peace knowing that the Father has once again shown me that what has happened in my life has happened for a reason and that everything is going to be ok. It will be OK! It is finished..... I am happy to finally breathe and move on to the greater things that have yet to come.....it's been promised!

I finish teaching in 5 days. GLORIOUS! I have had a great semester and I look forward to the needed summer break. It is funny, I am learning that I cannot look ahead too much, not even to tomorrow, because it is not promised. I am still trying to grasp that concept but it's coming! I have 5 days until freedom and I just don't know what to do after.

In my About Me, I wrote that I have moved from my home-town of 20 years and have established a career and fellowship elsewhere. There is one thing......my whole family is back home and I miss them. What shall I do? You may say, "go home silly girl!". I have almost 3 months to lounge(while getting paid praise the Lord) and I can really use that time to get things done back home with family. However, God has moved me here for a purpose and I have yet to see it come to pass. I know all He has done is for my good and now it is time to be obedient. He isn't asking for much. Just my dedication and open ear. I await His instruction and I pray that I be so open to heed His will. Sometimes I just wonder if I think to much......I tend to do that.

I hope that life has treated you kindly wherever you are in it. Know that God does not make us reel in a moment for too long. He only gives us what we can handle. There is a season for everything and well, WELCOME new season! I can't wait.

Blessings~

Amber

To Be Tested.........

Revelation City....

Oh how GOOD God is!

He has been so faithful the past few days.

I unraveled a scheme of the enemy...with help from the lord.

I made a life changing decision that has set forth the destiny the Lord has had planned for my life.

I forgave and let go....COMPLETELY!

and finally........

I visited the Garden of Gethsemane...and it was AMAZING!

I am not joking...yes, the same garden Christ was in before He was given over for Crucifixion. He was in the garden laying his will down before the Lord God and asking for another way... don't we all ask for another way sometime in our life?

The beautiful thing is Jesus asked for another way but willingly accepted His Father's will over His own.

It started out a pretty nice day on Sunday. I woke up rested but then the enemy started to steal my joy. I left the house thinking I would be better on my own. I bought some groceries, washed my car( the bird poop was terrible) and then drove. I drove out of Midland. I drove to a small town about 21 miles from Midland called Gardendale. I do not know why I drove there but I did. In my mind I figured I wouldn't know what lay ahead if I didn't so I just drove to see what this town held. Little did I know it would come to mean something prophetic was about to happen. I reached the town and found a small gas station and 4 trailer homes. I saw what I needed and quickly turned around. The road was straight and the sky was a beautiful blue, yet my heart was aching and I seriously wondered what the semi truck coming straight at me would do if I hit it. The thought seemed great at first but then, no matter the pain I was in, my life means so much more to God and I didn't want to disappoint Him. Let me disclaimer this real quick... no, I do not have suicidal thoughts, I just wanted the weight of the enemy off of me so badly that to die and be with God was a better alternative than to live one more moment feeling the way I did. I drove 70 with my windows down, hair blowing all around, tears streaming down my cheeks and "Emmanuel" by Hillsong blaring out of my speakers. It was a good cry and a great experience to feel the presence of God in the wind. I knew He was there....He had to be. I arrived home to drop the groceries off and wash mounds of clothes that I let pile up. My mom had called and come to find out I missed 3 phone calls on my outing. I called her back and she helped through some of the junk I was feeling. (Thanks mom!) I finished with her but still had a pain in my heart. No matter how much I wanted to stay in bed, I knew I had to do things because life cannot stop. I went to and fro getting clothes ready to wash and Uncle Neil came around the corner. I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk but he asked the question, "Are you alright?" and I broke... I couldn't lie. I was literally broken. I felt broken. Come to find out I was being broken. I proceeded to tell him how I didn't do anything wrong. How can I feel so broken for loving so much? All God ever did was ask us to love! I chose to love...and I was rejected, blamed, questioned......hated. I realize my downfall with loving...too much.....God corrected me. I now live my life to love the Lord first and foremost and I try to do nothing to walk outside of His will. Needless to say, I was hurt because I felt that I had done something wrong and that something was LOVING TOO MUCH! I screamed, I yelled, I kicked the dryer, I cried and I cried. And then.......He took me there.....to the garden...... I remember crying out, "Oh God!" I began to speak in the spirit and I saw Jesus on His face. My heart broke for God. It broke because I could not bare to think He gave His only son and at that moment His son was laying down His will with each tear. It was then that I realized it was not Jesus kneeling before the Father but it was me...asking for another way. The Father began to speak to me. He said, "They will hate you because of me...but greater glory will you have." I knew at that very moment that my life would never be the same. I was NOT the same. I felt a huge change in my spirit. A weight had lifted off of my shoulders and no longer was I attached to what was holding me back from seeing clearly. I let go of some things, I forgave, and I said, "Your will be done, Daddy."( I call God, Daddy) I wiped my eyes, hugged uncle Neil, and breathed a refreshing breathe of new life. It wasn't 5 minutes later that all I had been through that day from the car wash to the driving to random towns began to click into place. Are you ready to re-cap the journey God so lovingly had in mind for me that day?

I needed to wash clothes. I left home to get detergent.

He was showing me that there would be a cleansing......

I then decided to wash my car.

More cleansing. Cars mean ministry as well and I was getting a cleansing of my ministry.

I drove to Gardendale, Tx.

I went to the "Garden" I was in search of the garden and my spirit knew it.

The garden where Jesus asked for another way. I was seeking another way to deal with the struggles of the moment.

I had the revelation of the garden in the wash room.

Did you understand? :) I know....it may be a little much BUT it is just like God to do something like this. This is why He asks us to press in to the deeper things of Him. I choose to do this and know without a shadow of a doubt that God is the giver of life and the atoning sacrifice for all sin.

I do not think I will ever forget this.

I hope this encourages you to ask God to give you a life changing experience that alters the way you think about life from the moment you give Him the reigns. He will not disappoint.

Easter... GOD IS ALIVE!!!

Hello, Hello~

Yes, God is alive! He is... and has always been but it takes a while for my brain sometimes to relate the story of Easter to the God I so dearly love and choose to serve(Yes, God is a choice....He is a gentleman and lets you choose!) Essentially I think of Him as, "Alive" all the time.

What I mean is, Jesus dies at Easter, He gives His life to erase our sin, and yet He lives again on the 3rd day. Isn't it so wonderful to know that someone was thinking of us before we even took a breath?

I am still relishing the thought of that! HE CARES SO MUCH FOR US and yet we choose to blow Him off.....alot of the time.

Guilty...I will be the first to admit I sat him on the back-burner not too long ago actually. Boy did He have a way of showing me who He was! I am glad He loves me so much to take away the things that hinder my walk and set me upon a path that will ultimately be for my greater good...even when I do not see it now. I have even thought about cursing His name...a time or two yet I couldn't! He is GOD, my God, ever so loving and holy. He has not failed me nor will He ever.

Back to Easter.This time is interesting. I took time to think about others instead of just myself. I spent more time with my cousins, I visited my grandparents longer, I chilled with my mom, and I saw my beautiful friends.... all during this time of reverance to God. He supplied me with love and now I must give LOVE. Sometimes giving Love is hard.... you may be rejected, you may be accepted. It's a 50/50 shot. Is it something we are willing to do?

Here is what we should ask ourselves the next time we are faced with a decision...any decision...

Did God think twice? yes, BUT He chose LOVE! HE CHOSE LOVE!

Always choose LOVE. You will not go wrong by doing what the Lord has asked. He has said, "Love God, Love People."

What is love? Is it a feeling? Is it a daisy? Guess what? It is GOD because God IS LOVE!~ If you choose love you ultimately choose God! It is a win/win situation.

He can only bless you for trying in His name.

I hope your Easter was very Blessed and beautiful. I must go now and try to tame my wild thoughts with some sleep.

Enjoy some of my "loves"~

Blessings~

Amber

How BLESSED am I?

Well...... I do not have to go to work tomorrow! It is so amazing that yet again my school is never ceasing to leave me jaw-dropped! At my school, due to parent conferences and the mass involvement of parents, teachers take a whole day off to have meetings with parents! I am just an aide so I get the day off! How wonderful is that!? I do not mean to brag but I love my job and I love my God for blessing me! He has unlimited amounts of favor to pour out on all of us. It is up to us to obey His every call to obtain that favor. I always compare it to a school child:

Picture a classroom filled with children. They are all working on an activity. Most of the kids seem to get along with it very well. However, there are 2 struggling. One child raises his hand to ask for help. The teacher comes and gives instruction. A few moments later that child needs help again. He raises his hand and his teacher once more comes to help. This continues to happen throughout work time. What about the other child who was struggling? Did he ever raise his hand? He may have once or maybe not at all. You see, it is not that the teacher favors one child more than the other. It is the simple truth that the one child who asked and asked and asked......well he received! Like the teacher, God comes to the aide of those who seek and ask Him for help. He pours out help and favor to those who call upon His name always! How can he help you when you do not ask?

Blessings~
Amber

For Your Information

By The Way....since we are talking about wedding stuff......

You'll have to ask him for my hand!!! This is the love of my life, my Papa! (Paw-Paw)

Summer 09

I WANT THIS!!!!

I was watching "Say Yes To The Dress" on TV today and saw this wedding gown! I was blown away. I have never been one to pick things early but this took my breath away. It will be interesting to see how my mind will change when God finally brings him to me!

Until then... I LOVE THIS ONE!!!

Degas Wedding Gown

Something to think about...

I read somewhere on an ETSY shop this quote:

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they are right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." — Marilyn Monroe

I just liked this!

Blessings~
Amber

Spring Break...

It is almost Wednesday of spring break and I am officially getting used to sleeping in! It has been so long since I have slept past 10am.... even on the weekends. I am back home for the week and already I have made time for many, many friends! I am so blessed to see as many of my friends as I can while I am here. Not to mention, I have had 2 dinners cooked requesting the honor of my presence! My family rocks! Tomorrow is going to be fun, I get a lunch date with my grandparents at Red Lobster. YUM!

Today was interesting, I listened to the song by Addison Road called, " What do I know of Holy?" and it brought me to tears. In a way it makes you think about the reality of you, perhaps not knowing who Christ is? His heart for you, His admiration of you, His unfailing love. I could hear it over and over again. I must admit, there are many thoughts that race through my mind each day as I am here in my old stomping grounds. I am sure of this, God has moved me from this place to function elsewhere. Why is it? Whiy did He have to take such drastic measures to see if I was/am listening? Some people might think it was cruel...heck I struggle with that myself. Once again, I do know that God has a greater plan than I can see right now and I know He was the one who moved in me to make me move...literally, spiritually, and physically.

The question at hand is this, What does He want me to do? What does He want with me? Why me? I could go on and on.

Here is where He has me now:

I am re-hired as a Pre-K Teacher for the 2010-2011 school year. I will make $1,000 more dollars thanks to the raise I received after 2 months of employment! Thank you Jesus! He is good! He DOES provide!

I am thinking seriously about moving into an apartment in late summer. It will be London themed! GORGEOUS! I have all sorts of ideas in my head right now!

I am NOT going to Scotland..did I mention that earlier? Only if the lord makes the way will I go! His will be done.

I will be in a wedding on June 19th.

I have no clue what I am doing after tomorrow! :) Just livin I guess!


I am sleepy now, should probably go to sleep.....or call my Annie James!~

Rest assured my friends, God knows what is going on...even when we do not. Easier said than to believe I am afraid but I know it is TRUTH.

May God bless you with the wonders of His revelation, the fire of His anointing, and the beauty of His mercies as you continue to live and love in Him!

love, LOve, LOVE!

Blessings~
Amber

...

Patience.....

Where are you?

Oh how time flies...

It is already halfway through March and April is around the corner. It goes alot quicker for me because I get a well deserved "spring break" from my school. The joy and benefit of being a teacher! Thank you GOD! I love my job so much! I found out today that it is not always grins and butterflies when teaching children and talking to their parents but it is a huge BLESSING to do my job and do it well. I am still learning...hence the reason I said today was a little crazy! I learned that parents LIKE notes to be sent home when their child gets some time-out at recess...otherwise they will hear the story from the child and it will probably be butchered up. I learned that after a child has a rough day at school and you load the child into the car while they scream bloody murder...the parent is comforted by a simple phone call at home from the care provider to see how the child is. (this sweet baby wanted more time at recess but it was "go home" time and it was COLD outside...he didn't like that very much!) I have had the best advice from fellow teachers and I could not ask for a better work environment. My co-teacher is AMAZING! The Pre-K3 teachers next door are so lovely and my principal..GOD BLESS YOU is an outstanding woman who BACKS her employees up! I love that about this team! God is definitely good! I am reaping His goodness daily and in the midst of chaos, I cannot ever doubt that He exists. There is just to much goodness that would be unexplainable if He were to be a figment of our imaginations! I must go not to steam my clothes for the busy day tommorrow. I really need some rest after today and I need to talk to Jesus!

Oh, and I am going to keep track of my new inspiration...... fitness for a bikini body by the summer...hahahahaha yeah right! No, really, I am going to get fit to the best of my ability just not sure if I'll be in a bikini in 3 months. I have been walking/running on the elliptical and I have lost 5lbs in 2 weeks. I started with about 1 1/2 miles per day then have increased to 3 per day. Today I pushed myself to 6.25 miles. I was making up for the day I missed yesterday. I enjoy it and it help my knee loosen up from the wreck I was in 1 year ago on March 6. Praise God I am alive to see this day. There is nothing on earth worth dying for...even when it feels like you could die (I have been there, trust me!)

All that said to just keep you in the loop! Hope to be 10 pounds lighter in 2 more weeks!
YEE-HAW!

Love Love Love my people! Talk to you soon!
Amber

SNOW DAY~ and other stuff...lots of stuff

Hello ~

It has been a while .....I think this is becoming my ritual statement. I have had no time to just sit and write. We had a snow-day today and I was in heaven! I went to bed like a little child giggling at the thought of the snow packing on the ground up to 5 inches.....and we got it alright! I awoke to a wonderland of white and the greatest news....NO SCHOOL! I love my job however, and I missed my kids and new mini-tutor session that I just started Monday but the break was just fine as well. I CLEANED, CLEANED, and well CLEANED! It felt nice to re-arrange my ever so small living space(I have alot of stuff to fit into a bedroom!). I washed all of my clothes...kudos for that because I have been slacking on my duties! I am all up to speed now and look forward to tomorrow and the rest of the week. It is gonna be a short one for me! I will be leaving town on Thursday after school to go home for a wedding in Frisco. Totally this week I will have worked 3 whole days... what a life! I am happy to be going home for a few days. I miss my family and I get to see some good friends. Speaking of friends, Hello :) if you are reading Amy and Kin-Kai~ and whoever else.

I miss you....

I have been spending alot of time thanking God for what He has given me and what He is doing. He has got something so great I can hardly wait for it! In a way it is very exciting but in a way I am nervous! There are so many things that He has kept from me for a purpose and I know because of His great love and His promises that one day soon He will lay them before me as He feels necessary. Just for grins, I will get a husband, and a home, and some kids, and a calling from God...is that worth being super excited about? YES but at the same time, I wonder if I am adequate enough or even ready for those earthly things. One thing I do know is, I am always ready to hear the instruction of my Daddy, God, and humbly lay down my "self" to follow His lead. I have some big decisions to make here in the next few days and months.

I have been asked to lead children's church worship and I am most likely going to do that. I love music and children so what better combination could I get!

I have also been asked to do a prophetic sing-style skit when the time arises where I will basically let the Lord lead my words and beat for the moment where people on the street or wherever we decide to do this can just let the Lord speak to them and work in their hearts. I have never done this type of thing but I know God has put it in me to sing for His glory and well, I am gonna do it with all that is within me.

I may go to Scotland for some ministry work as well. That is in July. I have been seeking the Lord's guidance for this one. We will see how it all pans out.

Last but not least, APARTMENT!!! I may get an apartment come the start of the new school year in August. This brings all sorts of emotions into play! I will be on my own...a place I really am not too fond of but I need to experience. I will mke my own decisions, decorate how I want to , and finally HAVE ENOUGH SPACE FOR ALL OF MY STUFF! (and not to mention, have room for guests!) I am so BLESSED to be kept by my aunt and uncle right now as I wait on the Lord's calling for me but the time is coming near that I get out on my own. I always wanted to officially leave home when I got married but that wasn't in God's plan I guess. However, He does know best so when the time comes for all of these decisions, I will know!

I hope all of you have had time to thank God for His mercy and love. He is soooo good!

I love you all but HE loves you more!

Amber

Hello Hello Hello...

Today is a Sunday and I did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!! It felt great to just catch up on some well needed rest and house chores. I like to have all the time I need to accomplish a task. For me it was washing clothes. I now have to keep up with my outfits due to teaching. What a dork right? Yesterday was a good day! I got to see some of my old hometown friends in an unlikely place here where I now live. It was nice to see their faces! God showed while we were all chatting and I, along with my dear friend Ashley got to minister to them. I believe that they got what God wanted them to get during our time together. I am forever greatful for the mercies of our Father because when He pours out through you He also pours out to you! I got a dose of my Daddy after we all said "goodbye". How I have missed Him so. It has been my own flesh that has kept me from the goodness of my Father. I have neglected to run to Him with all that I need. I have ceased to share the very essence of my being with Him. I regret the days that I have let pass before coming to my Father in tears. It was a good to be reminded by my friend Ashley to run back to Daddy. He is waiting with open arms. I cried and cried but my tears cleansed the pain in my heart. I am still giving things to my Daddy right now but I know He is with me. I hope that you will be reminded to run to your Daddy and even if it is to just cry and be still with Him...do it. He wants us to do that. He loves us so much. Have a BLESSED night everyone!

Amber

Job, Job.....I HAVE A JOB!!

Well Friends,

I am officially emplyed and I am beat! I have worked for going on 5 days and let me tell you.....4yr olds wear you out! I am having a blast though!

I am excited to see what the Lord is going to do with me. It has been a while since I have consulted with the Father. I am in a place of just walking in the desert. He is there I know He is but I am feeling pretty uneasy due to the inactivity in my life and my walk. I am just being honest.

Is it possible to want God to use you so much that sometimes He just needs you to be content with what He is doing now instead of what He will do in the future? I have no idea!~

Needless to say, I am just loving and living right now.

My prayer is that God will open our hearts and our eyes to experience Him in every way. May you dream sweet dreams of revelation of His glory. Be blessed!

Amber