It's Official.....SUMMER has arrived!

Hello again!

Wow!~ I can't believe it.......I am now free to roam this beautiful country as I want for the next few months! I have no clue what I will be doing, no clue where I will go, when I will go, and I LOVE it! I have found that you can't go peeking into tomorrow because today isn't guaranteed. I may have said that in my previous blog but, this is becoming a trend. I realize that when you think you have something figured out, when you think you have figured out what God is doing, He blows your mind and turns you upside down again. I do not know what to say other than He is good and He does know what is going on.

Today was a glorious day. It was very hot but the sun dress I was wearing made up for it. Thank the Lord for Old Navy style. :) I'm back home now and went to church with mom, my sister and her boyfriend( I really like him) and shook the hand of a very handsome fellow. I have always thought he looked like a young Elvis but I never had the courage to ever sit by his family. Well today it happened. Mom plopped us down right behind them(unintentionally) and I will never forget the full smile he gave me as we shook hands. I don't think we even muttered words....just smiles from ear to ear.
Some ladies I hang out with always talk about how God reminds us of His love for us in the smallest and largest ways in the daily routine of life. We talk about how when a man looks our way and smiles politely, that this is known as a kiss from heaven. God lets us know that we are worthy to be romanced and looked upon as precious daughters of the King, the ultimate romancer and lover of all. It doesn't have to be just a look, perhaps a kind gesture, a shout of whoa baby, or a sweet line of attraction.....those are kisses from heaven. Take them for what they are, appreciate them, and go on.

I believe I got my kiss from heaven! I don't think I will be able to forget that smile and blue eyes. I can't say anything more will come from this meeting but I know that God knows the desires of my heart and even when I do not know them myself....He knows better. I am excited for what He has in store. It is an adventure and I am ready to live it.

It will be very interesting to see where God leads me. I am sure to you'll find out just as soon as I know.

As for now, I need to go spend some couch time with my momma!~

God Bless You~
Amber

What is this you say? Another chapter perhaps?

Yes, Yes! I believe so. When I started this blog I wrote as if being a page in a story. The story that Christ wrote so long ago before I came into the world. I now write as having one chapter coming to an end and another getting ready to begin. I am excited to say the least. Through this journey of examining myself and my hearts desires, I have found that people's true colors shine forth when you ask the Father to help you discern whether or not it is actually you who is being guarded toward someone when they say they have changed or if it is God who has guarded you from the lie once again. I live to give the benefit of the doubt....and I wanted so badly to give someone very close to me that benefit....but 7 days was all it took for that person's true colors to be revealed. It was not a pretty thing to see. However, in the persecution that came, I have found joy and peace knowing that the Father has once again shown me that what has happened in my life has happened for a reason and that everything is going to be ok. It will be OK! It is finished..... I am happy to finally breathe and move on to the greater things that have yet to come.....it's been promised!

I finish teaching in 5 days. GLORIOUS! I have had a great semester and I look forward to the needed summer break. It is funny, I am learning that I cannot look ahead too much, not even to tomorrow, because it is not promised. I am still trying to grasp that concept but it's coming! I have 5 days until freedom and I just don't know what to do after.

In my About Me, I wrote that I have moved from my home-town of 20 years and have established a career and fellowship elsewhere. There is one thing......my whole family is back home and I miss them. What shall I do? You may say, "go home silly girl!". I have almost 3 months to lounge(while getting paid praise the Lord) and I can really use that time to get things done back home with family. However, God has moved me here for a purpose and I have yet to see it come to pass. I know all He has done is for my good and now it is time to be obedient. He isn't asking for much. Just my dedication and open ear. I await His instruction and I pray that I be so open to heed His will. Sometimes I just wonder if I think to much......I tend to do that.

I hope that life has treated you kindly wherever you are in it. Know that God does not make us reel in a moment for too long. He only gives us what we can handle. There is a season for everything and well, WELCOME new season! I can't wait.

Blessings~

Amber

To Be Tested.........

Revelation City....

Oh how GOOD God is!

He has been so faithful the past few days.

I unraveled a scheme of the enemy...with help from the lord.

I made a life changing decision that has set forth the destiny the Lord has had planned for my life.

I forgave and let go....COMPLETELY!

and finally........

I visited the Garden of Gethsemane...and it was AMAZING!

I am not joking...yes, the same garden Christ was in before He was given over for Crucifixion. He was in the garden laying his will down before the Lord God and asking for another way... don't we all ask for another way sometime in our life?

The beautiful thing is Jesus asked for another way but willingly accepted His Father's will over His own.

It started out a pretty nice day on Sunday. I woke up rested but then the enemy started to steal my joy. I left the house thinking I would be better on my own. I bought some groceries, washed my car( the bird poop was terrible) and then drove. I drove out of Midland. I drove to a small town about 21 miles from Midland called Gardendale. I do not know why I drove there but I did. In my mind I figured I wouldn't know what lay ahead if I didn't so I just drove to see what this town held. Little did I know it would come to mean something prophetic was about to happen. I reached the town and found a small gas station and 4 trailer homes. I saw what I needed and quickly turned around. The road was straight and the sky was a beautiful blue, yet my heart was aching and I seriously wondered what the semi truck coming straight at me would do if I hit it. The thought seemed great at first but then, no matter the pain I was in, my life means so much more to God and I didn't want to disappoint Him. Let me disclaimer this real quick... no, I do not have suicidal thoughts, I just wanted the weight of the enemy off of me so badly that to die and be with God was a better alternative than to live one more moment feeling the way I did. I drove 70 with my windows down, hair blowing all around, tears streaming down my cheeks and "Emmanuel" by Hillsong blaring out of my speakers. It was a good cry and a great experience to feel the presence of God in the wind. I knew He was there....He had to be. I arrived home to drop the groceries off and wash mounds of clothes that I let pile up. My mom had called and come to find out I missed 3 phone calls on my outing. I called her back and she helped through some of the junk I was feeling. (Thanks mom!) I finished with her but still had a pain in my heart. No matter how much I wanted to stay in bed, I knew I had to do things because life cannot stop. I went to and fro getting clothes ready to wash and Uncle Neil came around the corner. I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk but he asked the question, "Are you alright?" and I broke... I couldn't lie. I was literally broken. I felt broken. Come to find out I was being broken. I proceeded to tell him how I didn't do anything wrong. How can I feel so broken for loving so much? All God ever did was ask us to love! I chose to love...and I was rejected, blamed, questioned......hated. I realize my downfall with loving...too much.....God corrected me. I now live my life to love the Lord first and foremost and I try to do nothing to walk outside of His will. Needless to say, I was hurt because I felt that I had done something wrong and that something was LOVING TOO MUCH! I screamed, I yelled, I kicked the dryer, I cried and I cried. And then.......He took me there.....to the garden...... I remember crying out, "Oh God!" I began to speak in the spirit and I saw Jesus on His face. My heart broke for God. It broke because I could not bare to think He gave His only son and at that moment His son was laying down His will with each tear. It was then that I realized it was not Jesus kneeling before the Father but it was me...asking for another way. The Father began to speak to me. He said, "They will hate you because of me...but greater glory will you have." I knew at that very moment that my life would never be the same. I was NOT the same. I felt a huge change in my spirit. A weight had lifted off of my shoulders and no longer was I attached to what was holding me back from seeing clearly. I let go of some things, I forgave, and I said, "Your will be done, Daddy."( I call God, Daddy) I wiped my eyes, hugged uncle Neil, and breathed a refreshing breathe of new life. It wasn't 5 minutes later that all I had been through that day from the car wash to the driving to random towns began to click into place. Are you ready to re-cap the journey God so lovingly had in mind for me that day?

I needed to wash clothes. I left home to get detergent.

He was showing me that there would be a cleansing......

I then decided to wash my car.

More cleansing. Cars mean ministry as well and I was getting a cleansing of my ministry.

I drove to Gardendale, Tx.

I went to the "Garden" I was in search of the garden and my spirit knew it.

The garden where Jesus asked for another way. I was seeking another way to deal with the struggles of the moment.

I had the revelation of the garden in the wash room.

Did you understand? :) I know....it may be a little much BUT it is just like God to do something like this. This is why He asks us to press in to the deeper things of Him. I choose to do this and know without a shadow of a doubt that God is the giver of life and the atoning sacrifice for all sin.

I do not think I will ever forget this.

I hope this encourages you to ask God to give you a life changing experience that alters the way you think about life from the moment you give Him the reigns. He will not disappoint.

Easter... GOD IS ALIVE!!!

Hello, Hello~

Yes, God is alive! He is... and has always been but it takes a while for my brain sometimes to relate the story of Easter to the God I so dearly love and choose to serve(Yes, God is a choice....He is a gentleman and lets you choose!) Essentially I think of Him as, "Alive" all the time.

What I mean is, Jesus dies at Easter, He gives His life to erase our sin, and yet He lives again on the 3rd day. Isn't it so wonderful to know that someone was thinking of us before we even took a breath?

I am still relishing the thought of that! HE CARES SO MUCH FOR US and yet we choose to blow Him off.....alot of the time.

Guilty...I will be the first to admit I sat him on the back-burner not too long ago actually. Boy did He have a way of showing me who He was! I am glad He loves me so much to take away the things that hinder my walk and set me upon a path that will ultimately be for my greater good...even when I do not see it now. I have even thought about cursing His name...a time or two yet I couldn't! He is GOD, my God, ever so loving and holy. He has not failed me nor will He ever.

Back to Easter.This time is interesting. I took time to think about others instead of just myself. I spent more time with my cousins, I visited my grandparents longer, I chilled with my mom, and I saw my beautiful friends.... all during this time of reverance to God. He supplied me with love and now I must give LOVE. Sometimes giving Love is hard.... you may be rejected, you may be accepted. It's a 50/50 shot. Is it something we are willing to do?

Here is what we should ask ourselves the next time we are faced with a decision...any decision...

Did God think twice? yes, BUT He chose LOVE! HE CHOSE LOVE!

Always choose LOVE. You will not go wrong by doing what the Lord has asked. He has said, "Love God, Love People."

What is love? Is it a feeling? Is it a daisy? Guess what? It is GOD because God IS LOVE!~ If you choose love you ultimately choose God! It is a win/win situation.

He can only bless you for trying in His name.

I hope your Easter was very Blessed and beautiful. I must go now and try to tame my wild thoughts with some sleep.

Enjoy some of my "loves"~

Blessings~

Amber

How BLESSED am I?

Well...... I do not have to go to work tomorrow! It is so amazing that yet again my school is never ceasing to leave me jaw-dropped! At my school, due to parent conferences and the mass involvement of parents, teachers take a whole day off to have meetings with parents! I am just an aide so I get the day off! How wonderful is that!? I do not mean to brag but I love my job and I love my God for blessing me! He has unlimited amounts of favor to pour out on all of us. It is up to us to obey His every call to obtain that favor. I always compare it to a school child:

Picture a classroom filled with children. They are all working on an activity. Most of the kids seem to get along with it very well. However, there are 2 struggling. One child raises his hand to ask for help. The teacher comes and gives instruction. A few moments later that child needs help again. He raises his hand and his teacher once more comes to help. This continues to happen throughout work time. What about the other child who was struggling? Did he ever raise his hand? He may have once or maybe not at all. You see, it is not that the teacher favors one child more than the other. It is the simple truth that the one child who asked and asked and asked......well he received! Like the teacher, God comes to the aide of those who seek and ask Him for help. He pours out help and favor to those who call upon His name always! How can he help you when you do not ask?

Blessings~
Amber

For Your Information

By The Way....since we are talking about wedding stuff......

You'll have to ask him for my hand!!! This is the love of my life, my Papa! (Paw-Paw)

Summer 09