He has been so faithful the past few days.
I unraveled a scheme of the enemy...with help from the lord.
I made a life changing decision that has set forth the destiny the Lord has had planned for my life.
I forgave and let go....COMPLETELY!
and finally........
I visited the Garden of Gethsemane...and it was AMAZING!
I am not joking...yes, the same garden Christ was in before He was given over for Crucifixion. He was in the garden laying his will down before the Lord God and asking for another way... don't we all ask for another way sometime in our life?
The beautiful thing is Jesus asked for another way but willingly accepted His Father's will over His own.
It started out a pretty nice day on Sunday. I woke up rested but then the enemy started to steal my joy. I left the house thinking I would be better on my own. I bought some groceries, washed my car( the bird poop was terrible) and then drove. I drove out of Midland. I drove to a small town about 21 miles from Midland called Gardendale. I do not know why I drove there but I did. In my mind I figured I wouldn't know what lay ahead if I didn't so I just drove to see what this town held. Little did I know it would come to mean something prophetic was about to happen. I reached the town and found a small gas station and 4 trailer homes. I saw what I needed and quickly turned around. The road was straight and the sky was a beautiful blue, yet my heart was aching and I seriously wondered what the semi truck coming straight at me would do if I hit it. The thought seemed great at first but then, no matter the pain I was in, my life means so much more to God and I didn't want to disappoint Him. Let me disclaimer this real quick... no, I do not have suicidal thoughts, I just wanted the weight of the enemy off of me so badly that to die and be with God was a better alternative than to live one more moment feeling the way I did. I drove 70 with my windows down, hair blowing all around, tears streaming down my cheeks and "Emmanuel" by Hillsong blaring out of my speakers. It was a good cry and a great experience to feel the presence of God in the wind. I knew He was there....He had to be. I arrived home to drop the groceries off and wash mounds of clothes that I let pile up. My mom had called and come to find out I missed 3 phone calls on my outing. I called her back and she helped through some of the junk I was feeling. (Thanks mom!) I finished with her but still had a pain in my heart. No matter how much I wanted to stay in bed, I knew I had to do things because life cannot stop. I went to and fro getting clothes ready to wash and Uncle Neil came around the corner. I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk but he asked the question, "Are you alright?" and I broke... I couldn't lie. I was literally broken. I felt broken. Come to find out I was being broken. I proceeded to tell him how I didn't do anything wrong. How can I feel so broken for loving so much? All God ever did was ask us to love! I chose to love...and I was rejected, blamed, questioned......hated. I realize my downfall with loving...too much.....God corrected me. I now live my life to love the Lord first and foremost and I try to do nothing to walk outside of His will. Needless to say, I was hurt because I felt that I had done something wrong and that something was LOVING TOO MUCH! I screamed, I yelled, I kicked the dryer, I cried and I cried. And then.......He took me there.....to the garden...... I remember crying out, "Oh God!" I began to speak in the spirit and I saw Jesus on His face. My heart broke for God. It broke because I could not bare to think He gave His only son and at that moment His son was laying down His will with each tear. It was then that I realized it was not Jesus kneeling before the Father but it was me...asking for another way. The Father began to speak to me. He said, "They will hate you because of me...but greater glory will you have." I knew at that very moment that my life would never be the same. I was NOT the same. I felt a huge change in my spirit. A weight had lifted off of my shoulders and no longer was I attached to what was holding me back from seeing clearly. I let go of some things, I forgave, and I said, "Your will be done, Daddy."( I call God, Daddy) I wiped my eyes, hugged uncle Neil, and breathed a refreshing breathe of new life. It wasn't 5 minutes later that all I had been through that day from the car wash to the driving to random towns began to click into place. Are you ready to re-cap the journey God so lovingly had in mind for me that day?
I needed to wash clothes. I left home to get detergent.
He was showing me that there would be a cleansing......
I then decided to wash my car.
More cleansing. Cars mean ministry as well and I was getting a cleansing of my ministry.
I drove to Gardendale, Tx.
I went to the "Garden" I was in search of the garden and my spirit knew it.
The garden where Jesus asked for another way. I was seeking another way to deal with the struggles of the moment.
I had the revelation of the garden in the wash room.
Did you understand? :) I know....it may be a little much BUT it is just like God to do something like this. This is why He asks us to press in to the deeper things of Him. I choose to do this and know without a shadow of a doubt that God is the giver of life and the atoning sacrifice for all sin.
I do not think I will ever forget this.
I hope this encourages you to ask God to give you a life changing experience that alters the way you think about life from the moment you give Him the reigns. He will not disappoint.
